CONVERGE19 - Takeaways 4/4
- Miroslav Czadek
- Jan 24
- 12 min read
9. Lecture: "Coaching the Next Generation to Full Potential", Meredith Ann Whipple Callahan, ACC
10. Lecture: "Networking: Your Strategic Advantage", Sarah Mann, ACC
11. Lecture: "The Power of Connected Presence with your Clients", Aboodi Shabi, PCC
12. Lecture: "Connect + Collaborate", Luvvie Ajayi
9. Lecture: "Coaching the Next Generation to Full Potential"
Speaker: Meredith Ann Whipple Callahan, ACC
What it was about:
How do we coach the next generation? How can coaches specifically prepare new employees for a career full of personal development – even after we stop working with them as coaches? In this lecture, the presenter, executive coach and author of the book “Indispensable”, brought insights on “How to succeed in your first job and beyond”, including a deep understanding of future professionals together with coaching experience to answer these questions. This presentation initially clarified how to better work with Millennials / Generation Z. This was followed by a sharing of ideas and frameworks needed for others to manage their own development. The presentation ultimately showed concrete approaches to integrating these insights into coaching sessions. #projecoach #Millennials #GenerationX #GenerationZ #BabyBoomers #converge
Key insights and identified challenges:
Who are the next generations?
How can we coach excellently across generational differences?
Coaching the next generation is an invitation to renew our coaching approach – and ourselves
There are four dynamics that can stand in the way of effective coaching across generations:
Pride,
Power,
Personal projections, and
Your own unconscious programming.
1. Challenge: “Pride”
What is it?
Many of us face a common challenge in coaching – the desire to give advice
This is amplified by age differences; it may seem justified to give advice because “yes, I really do know better”
You will likely feel that you have already seen their situation and know how things work
Response: “Humility / Modesty”
What to do?
Challenge yourself to commit to coaching instead of advising
Humbly offer what we see, if it seems appropriate, but without assuming that the other person will use it
2. Challenge: “Power” (authority, capability)
What is it?
Age differences bring their own set of power dynamics (i.e. senior knows the answers, junior does not know the answer)
These are not unique to coaching, but are part of our social structure
Balancing this power dynamic is essential to supporting your clients; you must be more focused on building the coaching relationship
Response: “Vulnerability”
What to do?
Be aware of how and where you use yourself in coaching
Share your own challenges; show that you are not older and wiser, but rather older and working on your own challenges
Find genuine commonalities (i.e. where “we” and “now” are similar) instead of false commonalities (i.e. “when I was your age…” or “my daughter who is your age…”)
3. Challenge: “Personal projections”
What is it?
We have personal experiences across generations – in our past and in our current situations – which all inform how we interact with others (more or less consciously):
Grandparent to grandchild / grandchild to grandparent
Parent to child / child to parent
Executive employee / executive employee
Manager to employee / employee to manager
Teacher / student / teacher
Response: “Awareness”
What to do?
Look at past cross-generational experiences (where we were potentially juniors)
Assess current relationships (where you are likely senior)
Explore a broader range of associations (e.g. authority, wisdom, aging, youth)
4. Challenge: “Your own unconscious programming”
What is it?
We look at the world through our own eyes. Our understanding of how the world works, what is important, what is acceptable, what is frightening, what is easy, etc., is shaped by our experiences.
These experiences – and this unconscious programming – differ from others.
And they are often the source of many of our intuitions, some of our questions, and even some of our proven coaching approaches.
Response: “Curiosity”
What to do?
Remind yourself that these dimensions are interchangeable and not absolute (even if they may seem that way)
Avoid assumptions about the world (a lot may have changed or look very different from their perspective)
Be curious about how they see it (e.g. “Wow, I wonder what the world looks like from their perspective!”)
Addressing generational differences is a call to deepen the foundations of coaching
Adopt a beginner’s mind
Coach as if you were learning for the first time what works and what does not
Interesting links to the author: https://meredithwhipplecallahan.com/
Interesting link to the book: https://indispensablebook.com/
Suggestions and recommendations
Interesting links:
Takeaways
Better understanding of Millennials / Generation Z and their orientation at work
Using an approach that helps others manage their own development in the long term
Effectively adapting your coaching approach to better discovery, support, and development of the needs of the next generation
Effective coaching of the next generation to their full potential is less about who they are and what they want, and much more about adapting a beginner’s mindset
There are four dynamics most likely to get in the way of a coach when coaching generational differences: pride, power, personal projections, and your own unconscious programming
Generational differences bring us back to the core elements of coaching – particularly acting with humility, vulnerability, awareness, and curiosity
10. Lecture: "Networking: Your Strategic Advantage"
Speaker: Sarah Mann, ACC
What it was about:
We live in a “relationship economy” – an economy in which work and life are done through others. In this fast-paced, fun, and interactive presentation, I learned about “inner strength” and why cultivating and maintaining a network of contacts is so important for career and business success. More than any other time-consuming item on a to-do list, networking can be strategically integrated into our existing activities and bring rich results, both personally and professionally. #projecoach #Networking #Relationship #converge
Key insights and identified challenges:
General reflections:
What is your superpower in coaching? How do you use it?
What was your greatest professional success? Why?
Who had the greatest influence on your career? Why?
What is the most beneficial coaching experience you have had (giving or receiving coaching)?
If you were contestants in a talent show, what would your talent be?
What career advice would you give your younger self?
If you could go back in time, would you choose the same career? Why or why not?
What brings you joy?
Which famous person would you like to meet and why?
Whom have you mentored and what did you learn from them?
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Why?
What are you most proud of in your life?
Myths:
Networking is a human affair. Solution: Networking is relationship-building
I don’t have time. Solution: We live in a relationship economy – simply make time
I’m not good at it. Solution: There are many ways to build connections (find a way that suits you)
How to approach it through coaching?
Power of coaching:
Coach presence
Building trust and intimacy
Active questioning and listening
Powerful questions
Takeaways
Identifying networking / relationship activities that directly support personal or professional goals is key
A strategy for personal connections should align with personal style / culture
Opportunities to integrate connections into existing activities can be created
11. Lecture: "The Power of Connected Presence with your Clients"
Speaker: Aboodi Shabi, PCC
What it was about:
The most important part of any successful coaching relationship is the relationship itself. In this lecture, we focused on how to develop our capacity to be truly present with others. We learned how to build and maintain connection with our clients and how to quickly build empathy and trust. We learned more about our limits in connection with the client and how to manage them so that when we are fully connected to the client, we experience the power of coaching. #projecoach #somaticcoaching #somatic #converge
Key insights and identified challenges:
“Learn the theories as much as you can, and then be ready to set them aside when you meet the miracle of a living soul.” - Carl Jung
How can I work with the body in coaching?
We can view coaching as a rhetorical profession: the client speaks about the problem and the coach listens and asks questions. But we are not just a voice separated from the body – there is a body that speaks, a body that listens, and a body that asks questions. And outside the client session, the client’s body (beyond their words) influences how they show up in life. Bringing the client’s attention to their body and what their body reveals helps them understand more deeply the issues they are working on in the session and increases their awareness of how these issues impact others.
Why involve the body in coaching?
“We live in a world that prioritizes rationality, and most of us are often disconnected from our bodies.”
Our bodies reveal who we are, sometimes in contradiction to our words. We notice this, for example, when talking to someone who says they are listening, but whose body sends a very different message.
When we work as coaches only in our heads, we may focus on everything we have to do and think only about that. Listening to the body can remind us that we need to rest or take a break, and therefore it tells us much more than just that we need to work harder. Such data is important in coaching – to coach the whole person and help the client listen to the whole person they are.
Somatic coaching focuses the client’s attention on their body – by observing and asking about how the client manifests somatically during the session – and also supports the client in developing new practices that help them embody a new learning goal.
The body holds our embodied habits and our history – a history that is pre-linguistic. Working at this level produces change that is stronger and more effective than working with language alone.
For example, we know that we have the right to say “no”, but we all know that people can say “no” with their words while their bodies (including their voice) communicate a lack of commitment to holding that “no”. A true “no” is both a linguistic and bodily act.
The path to becoming a somatic coach can be long and requires learning and practice on the coach’s side (it is as much in our heads as it is for everyone else!).
But the key point for bringing this into your coaching is noticing the client’s body and your own bodily responses to the client – how what they say affects you – and what you notice in the process. Literally, you and your reactions are the instruments of coaching.
How to proceed?
"Notice shifts in the client’s body – or in your own – when the client talks about a specific person or a problem. What might the body say about the problem the client brought to coaching?”
Five steps to work with connection / awareness + practice:
scan
tune in
notice
be curious
share / ask
practice
1. Scanning:
Before coaching ...
…do a quick scan of where you are.
What is happening in your body?
How much are you “in balance”?
What tensions do you perceive?
What did you notice about your energy?
How is your breathing?
Before the session, notice your own state so that you can be aware of any changes that happen once you connect with the client.
2. Tune in
Once the client arrives for the session, tune in to their energy.
What did you notice about the coachee when they come into the room or the call?
What changes do you feel in your body or energy, setting, etc., when you start talking with the coachee?
3. Notice:
Besides paying attention during the conversation to the client’s goal and what they say, continuously notice what you see on the client’s body – gestures, breathing, tone of voice, pace of speaking, etc. ....
... and what is happening in your body? What did you notice about your breathing, gestures, tones of voice, pace of speaking?
4. Be curious:
Be curious about what you notice in your own body when you connect with your client.
What changed from before the session?
What are your reactions telling you?
How do they add to or subtract from the connection?
5. Share / ask:
Share your findings with your client and be curious if you notice changes in the client’s body – or in your body – especially when the client talks about a specific person or problem.
6. Practice:
Build on the learning and insights that come from the session with the client; work with the client to explore practices that help them embody new learning.
Example:
Marek was recently internally promoted in order to lead a sales team of which he has been part for several years. He comes to a coaching session with the goal that he wants to work on the transition from being a team member of the team he is part of to a state where he becomes the team leader. When he showed up for coaching, I noticed that he smiles and moves in a warm way that invites connection, and in his company I feel relaxed.
At the start of the session, he talks about the difficulties he has in asking his team to complete tasks and being taken seriously.
As he talks, I observe that he keeps smiling even when he talks about his challenges, and that he giggles when he talks about assigning requests to his team. I also notice that it triggers in me a reaction that I don’t want to take him seriously. I ask him about it – I share with him that I noticed his smile and giggling when he talks about wanting to be taken more seriously.
His first answer was that he was not aware of it; I ask him whether he smiles / giggles when he gives requests. He acknowledges that yes, and I share my observation of my own reactions. As we talk about it, it reveals that it is uncomfortable for him when he has to lead people who were previously his peers; he wants to be “part of the gang” and be liked by everyone, so he keeps smiling and is friendly the whole time at the expense of his leadership role.
I challenge him to think about how he could make a request if he wanted to be taken seriously, and to pay attention to what expression his face has.
He tries it and at the same time tries to resist the temptation to break into a smile.
We discuss it for a while and then talk about from what other area that he masters he could take postures so that he develops this more serious position and so that it becomes more available to him.
Marek suggests mountaineering or social dancing; both require a certain seriousness and focus, and he agrees that he will try both and see what difference it brings in practice.
Developing somatic awareness
To develop your own somatic awareness as a coach, besides attending a somatic coaching course there are several simple things you can do almost immediately to increase your awareness.
You can watch your own reactions to people, for example while watching a movie or during a meeting. How do you react to what someone says? What do you notice about how they speak – gestures, voice, pace, etc. – that triggers a reaction in you? What does it tell you about them?
Or you can, for example, “people watch” in a café or at an airport and just be curious about the people you see. Would this person be a leader you would trust? Would they be someone who could convincingly say “no”? What causes that how they move triggers a reaction in you?
Just as a note, here you do not have to follow reality (leader, non-leader etc.): it is about developing your curiosity and sharpening your awareness of human beings and of the way they move – and of what impact they have on your body.
Interesting links and literature
Aquilina, E & Strozzi-Heckler, R (2019) Somatic coaching. In: S Palmer & A Whybrow (eds) Handbook of Coaching Psychology: A Guide for Practitioners, 2nd edition. London: Routledge
Cheung-Judge, M-Y (2001) The Self As Instrument: A Cornerstone for the Future of OD. OD Practitioner, 33 (3), 11–16
Hamill, P (2013) Embodied Leadership. London: Kogan Page
Matthews, T (2013) More than a brain on legs: an exploration of working with the body in coaching. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, Special Issue 7
Strozzi-Heckler, R (1997) The Anatomy of Change: A Way to Move Through Life’s Transitions. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books
Strozzi-Heckler, R (2014) The art of somatic coaching. Human Resources Magazine
Suggestions and recommendations
Evidently one of the most important practical/workshop lectures. In my opinion it separates coaches from master coaches. I am glad that I could try it practically.
Takeaways
Identifying your own limits of connection with the client and ways to address them can help in coaching with addressing them.
Applying somatic coaching helps easier and more effective creation and maintenance of connection with clients.
Developing a deeper presence of the coach during the session helps provide more effective coaching.
12. Lecture: "Connect + Collaborate"
Speaker: Luvvie Ajayi
What it was about:
Luvvie Ajayi is an author and holder of several awards; she lectures and speaks about digital strategy, uses humor as a tool to navigate constant and inevitable change that occurs in the world every day. In this inspiring workshop Ajayi encouraged everyone to feel a little more comfortable “uncomfortable” in order to achieve incredible personal and professional growth. #projecoach #teamcoaching #excercise #converge
Key insights and identified issues:
Activity process – exercise:
Hot seat – client shares a problem they want to solve (1 minute)
Describe the problem you want to solve. It can be a personal or work area. What solution are you looking for that colleagues can help you with?
Coaches ask clarifying questions (3 minutes)
2 partners ask questions to better understand the problem and what the client in the hot seat is experiencing.
Coaches brainstorm solutions (7 minutes)
2 partners share possible solutions for this problem. The client in the hot seat listens to the ideas and writes down possible notes.
Client in the hot seat shares what they took away and what action steps they have (1 minute)
Client in the hot seat shares what lesson they took away and their action plan.
Suggestions and recommendations
An interesting practical exercise that is not completely aligned with ICF principles. On the other hand, very effective and interesting.
Takeaways
What can be accomplished in coaching in a few minutes?
At least as an experiment as a team exercise, it seems interesting.
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